I'm sure I could, yes. [...] So long as my psionics are active. Otherwise...I imagine you would simply...wake up naturally. By your own body's accord.
[should his psionics fail...he'd just vanish from this place, wouldn't he? back into the dark. alone. he could only pray it would be quick and dreamless then, so he could wake and find himself safe and in Yzak's company again.
Blue dips his head into Yzak's shoulder, as though to hide from the thought entirely.]
[ This is one of those times where Yzak can tell what must be on his mind without those psionics himself. Blue's words and following actions are clear enough. He's glad for that, because if he weren't paying such close attention he might have missed it. And even those brief, bubbling moments of worry are what he wants to Blue to share with him since he can't always pick up on it. ]
Well, no need for it anyway.
[ He dismisses that and reaches a hand down to brush it against one of Blue's arms around him, a little warning signal before he moves himself out of his hold. But only so he can properly turn to face him. ]
Do you want to go inside? There's not really anything else to see out here. And it's not like there aren't just as many flowers all over the place inside.
[ He offers an arm, even though Blue doesn't need the support in here. By now it's a subconscious habit of his to do so. (since someone's weak ass can hardly get anywhere on his own irl) ]
[the gesture is familiar enough to not even question, really: Blue accepts the arm and lets Yzak take the lead. this is his subconscious, after all; browsing through it himself would be rather intrusive, wouldn't it.]
I didn't know you were so particular to flowers. It's nice. [Blue imagines he would be to, had he the means to keep them.]
[ It's only after Blue takes his arm that he realizes oh, he can move about himself like this just fine. But if he makes no move to otherwise let go, then Yzak ain't either. ︶u︶ ]
I'm not that particular. This is all my mother.
...
But I guess it's come in handy. I was able to put the right amount of effort into one of Sabriel's Christmas gifts thanks to it, since I know what a bunch of them symbolize.
[a warm smile pulls across Blue's lips as he watches the shift into nerd mode. Yzak is really fascinating, especially when he's speaking to something he seems invested or knowledgeable in.]
Is that something every soldier learns? Or...was that your mother's influence?
[ He does love showing off his knowledge at any opportunity. Even though there is enjoyment in this specifically. ]
Flower language isn't something you learn in the military. So this would be thanks to my mother. [ Who he misses, like a big ol' mama's boy. There's love, warmth, a deep attachment there, even though it also feels like a piece of paper that's been crinkled up some, unable to be completely smooth again despite being uncrumpled. ]
But I read up about that myself, since I'm interested in that sort of thing. [ Gifts with meaning, intentions. Speaking through that form of kindness. ]
[Blue's hold on his arm tightens just a bit more in order to sponge some of that feeling - the feeling of having a mother. it's something he himself lacks - something many Mu can't say they recall, save for the very few.
mama? little Carina had echoed, holding onto Jomy's hand. is this what it feels like?]
I wouldn't mind hearing about it. Those things you're interested in.
[ There's a deep attachment there, despite that bit of friction that can't fully be fixed, because it's always been just him and his mother. For Yzak, his feelings are like being in a soft, safe, familiar place, as it's its own unique form of love. Like arms open for a warm, comforting embrace any time he'd need it. No matter where he goes, what he does, who he becomes, they'd always be open for him. He's not averse to sharing more with Blue if he's curious, she'll be on his mind a lot in here anyway. ]
You've gotten an idea for it already, with those gifts I gave you. [ And then, kind of lowly grumbled: ] That reminds me that I couldn't find anything in that castle or on Badrock to bring back to the station for my collection...!
But, meanings of different things from different places. Customs in cultures, ways they celebrate special days, tales, dances, music they pass down. Sometimes there's absolutely no similarities between them, sometimes they're nearly identical. Items and superstition attached to them, too. Good luck charms, talismans said to protect people from bad dreams. Things like that.
Your own meaning gets impressed onto those things, too. Your own wishes. So really, any flower...can mean anything to someone. Just making that wish clear...that has to be key.
[so yes Yzak u can give him the decapitation flowers, it's fine.]
That's true too, especially because some flowers have two meanings. For example, you can give someone a tansy to wish them good health. But in some places it's a declaration of war.
[ So really a tansy he can give to both Blue AND to Athrun! ]
Is that something you can feel, too? That kind of impression onto things.
If I'm with the person who has placed that wish upon it, yes. But feelings don't...linger on objects. Like fingerprints or scents, no. Not unless that person is nearby, or...I have already understood the value from someone else.
[point in case, he lifts a figment of that spiral charm Yzak gave him.]
If you hadn't been there to explain the value in person, and simply told me through a text...the only impression left upon it would be what I put there. But since you were there... [his expression softens.] That impression lingers.
[ Uuughsdghhs that motion makes his heart flutter, basically confirming his earlier thought about everything simply feeling like more, now. He always thought he could handle this whole ... having feelings, a relationship (what the fuck, this is what that is now, huh. wild) thing better and less stupid than he actually is. (but again, it's Yzak, overestimating himself happens often)
So he doesn't know what to say to that except to just repeat himself like a fool. ]
I'm ... pleased to hear that too.
[ At the very least, it's not bullshit because he still feels that same, elated way.
He leads Blue and steps into his bougie home. Large and bright with high walls, big windows with silky drapes, expensive wallpapering and tiling, fancy ass carpets, vases with flowers from the garden outside along the hallways. It's immaculately clean, too. It's got the works; cushy living room, spacious kitchen with a large table, multiple bathrooms and rooms (guest rooms and work rooms) even though only two people live here.
There are photos of said two people on the walls, too. Yzak is the splitting image of his mother, and thankfully there are no very embarrassing pictures up of him. The closest thing is probably a photo of them both when Yzak was an itty bitty boy, bratty looking (as always) but still laughing with her, but that's more cute than embarrassing. ]
[Yzak reacts in a fluttery way he himself did when Finn and James poured on the affection...it informs Blue he's on the right track! he contentedly follows Yzak's lead into the house, completely unaware of bougie or what-have beyond any impressions Yzak himself may have about it.
focus immediately moves to those photos - those glimpses of childhood and family that Blue lacks for himself. it's like a moth to a flame, and Yzak's pulled along if he doesn't resist.]
You look...so much alike... [that wonder-filled smile is turned to Yzak.] Is that how it works? Naturally?
[ The only impressions Yzak has about his place that Blue can pick up on most are this weird sense of excitement of having him? His p a r t n e r in his home? Even though it's a dream home? (thank God it's not reality though, imagine if his mother was here, after trying to push wives on him). The other thought is an assurance to himself, that his place is nice, SO nice! The fanciest! He's got that money! So Blue should enjoy it just fine!! He wants to be impressive! ]
Not all the time. [ He hears that comment a lot, that he looks just like his mother. So he's used to it by now, rather than feeling weird about it. ] It varies.
First-generation Coordinators could have their eye color, hair color and other traits pre-set. But second-generations like myself were born naturally without that.
[he smiles back at the photo, his tone full of affection.] Nature's whims...hand in hand with your parents...brought you here.
[it makes his heart ache in a bittersweet way. were natural birth still allowed, he...would never have been born, would he?
it goes deeper than that, but it's beyond his understanding. he doesn't know that his mutation wasn't spontaneous - that it was actually an experiment set in place by the very system that deemed him a threat and has organized humanity to despise him and his like.]
[ More of a thought that just spills out of his mouth. Yzak knows things aren't quite the same in Blue's world in this regard, still ... it's more the fascination and expression Blue has now when speaking about it that awes him a bit. It's so full of this pure sort of sincerity that he barely knows how to handle. ]
[he straightens up, withdrawing from the photos to stand properly at Yzak's side.]
There are countless ways you could've been...or not been. Not just the way you look, but the way you perceived the world, the strengths or weaknesses you acquired... But you're the you you are right now. And it wasn't designed by a machine.
I like that. I'm lucky...I get to know the you who you are now, the one who was that child once.
[ What did we just say about barely being able to know how to handle this.
Yzak opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times. And, no, this is too much, he ends up looking away and bringing a hand to his flushing face. He knows he's said this before, but it's less a question at this point and more just flustered stammering. ]
How the hell can you just say something like that!?
[ And so easily! The powerful honestly behind those words are overwhelming, so romantic. And, Yzak thinks, it's always Blue saying them - which leaves him where? Feeling the same way, because obviously he feels just as lucky, but a "haha me too" is so lame to give back in return. ]
[Blue's hold on Yzak slacks a little in surprise to such an intense reaction. he frowns thoughtfully, wondering if he's been too overwhelming in his honesty - he is most at home in spaces more entirely emotional rather than physical, after all.
still, his hand lingers on Yzak's arm as he watches the poor man practically spout steam from his ears.]
...Because it is my belief. And...it feels important and worth saying.
But is it too much to say? You're already overwhelmed...
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[should his psionics fail...he'd just vanish from this place, wouldn't he? back into the dark. alone. he could only pray it would be quick and dreamless then, so he could wake and find himself safe and in Yzak's company again.
Blue dips his head into Yzak's shoulder, as though to hide from the thought entirely.]
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Well, no need for it anyway.
[ He dismisses that and reaches a hand down to brush it against one of Blue's arms around him, a little warning signal before he moves himself out of his hold. But only so he can properly turn to face him. ]
Do you want to go inside? There's not really anything else to see out here. And it's not like there aren't just as many flowers all over the place inside.
[ He offers an arm, even though Blue doesn't need the support in here. By now it's a subconscious habit of his to do so. (since someone's weak ass can hardly get anywhere on his own irl) ]
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I didn't know you were so particular to flowers. It's nice. [Blue imagines he would be to, had he the means to keep them.]
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I'm not that particular. This is all my mother.
...
But I guess it's come in handy. I was able to put the right amount of effort into one of Sabriel's Christmas gifts thanks to it, since I know what a bunch of them symbolize.
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Each one...means something different, then?
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Each species does. Different colors of those can mean different things, too. And sometimes even that varies, depending on the culture it's from.
For example, one type of seed I got Sabriel was a peony, which is commonly used as a gesture of well wishes for marriage.
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Is that something every soldier learns? Or...was that your mother's influence?
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Flower language isn't something you learn in the military. So this would be thanks to my mother. [ Who he misses, like a big ol' mama's boy. There's love, warmth, a deep attachment there, even though it also feels like a piece of paper that's been crinkled up some, unable to be completely smooth again despite being uncrumpled. ]
But I read up about that myself, since I'm interested in that sort of thing. [ Gifts with meaning, intentions. Speaking through that form of kindness. ]
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mama? little Carina had echoed, holding onto Jomy's hand. is this what it feels like?]
I wouldn't mind hearing about it. Those things you're interested in.
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You've gotten an idea for it already, with those gifts I gave you. [ And then, kind of lowly grumbled: ] That reminds me that I couldn't find anything in that castle or on Badrock to bring back to the station for my collection...!
But, meanings of different things from different places. Customs in cultures, ways they celebrate special days, tales, dances, music they pass down. Sometimes there's absolutely no similarities between them, sometimes they're nearly identical. Items and superstition attached to them, too. Good luck charms, talismans said to protect people from bad dreams. Things like that.
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Your own meaning gets impressed onto those things, too. Your own wishes. So really, any flower...can mean anything to someone. Just making that wish clear...that has to be key.
[so yes Yzak u can give him the decapitation flowers, it's fine.]
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That's true too, especially because some flowers have two meanings. For example, you can give someone a tansy to wish them good health. But in some places it's a declaration of war.
[ So really a tansy he can give to both Blue AND to Athrun! ]
Is that something you can feel, too? That kind of impression onto things.
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[point in case, he lifts a figment of that spiral charm Yzak gave him.]
If you hadn't been there to explain the value in person, and simply told me through a text...the only impression left upon it would be what I put there. But since you were there... [his expression softens.] That impression lingers.
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[ The explanation makes sense. His gaze shifts to the charm when Blue pulls it out. ]
You have that with you?
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[ That ... is sweet, and a punch right to Yzak's emotions. He goes a little red, because that makes him pretty happy! ]
I'm pleased to know that.
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he leans in and plants a gentle kiss on his cheek.]
I'm glad. I'll keep it with me. As much as possible.
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So he doesn't know what to say to that except to just repeat himself like a fool. ]
I'm ... pleased to hear that too.
[ At the very least, it's not bullshit because he still feels that same, elated way.
He leads Blue and steps into his bougie home. Large and bright with high walls, big windows with silky drapes, expensive wallpapering and tiling, fancy ass carpets, vases with flowers from the garden outside along the hallways. It's immaculately clean, too. It's got the works; cushy living room, spacious kitchen with a large table, multiple bathrooms and rooms (guest rooms and work rooms) even though only two people live here.
There are photos of said two people on the walls, too. Yzak is the splitting image of his mother, and thankfully there are no very embarrassing pictures up of him. The closest thing is probably a photo of them both when Yzak was an itty bitty boy, bratty looking (as always) but still laughing with her, but that's more cute than embarrassing. ]
It's weird since it's a dream, but.
Make yourself at home.
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focus immediately moves to those photos - those glimpses of childhood and family that Blue lacks for himself. it's like a moth to a flame, and Yzak's pulled along if he doesn't resist.]
You look...so much alike... [that wonder-filled smile is turned to Yzak.] Is that how it works? Naturally?
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Not all the time. [ He hears that comment a lot, that he looks just like his mother. So he's used to it by now, rather than feeling weird about it. ] It varies.
First-generation Coordinators could have their eye color, hair color and other traits pre-set. But second-generations like myself were born naturally without that.
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[he smiles back at the photo, his tone full of affection.] Nature's whims...hand in hand with your parents...brought you here.
[it makes his heart ache in a bittersweet way. were natural birth still allowed, he...would never have been born, would he?
it goes deeper than that, but it's beyond his understanding. he doesn't know that his mutation wasn't spontaneous - that it was actually an experiment set in place by the very system that deemed him a threat and has organized humanity to despise him and his like.]
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[ More of a thought that just spills out of his mouth. Yzak knows things aren't quite the same in Blue's world in this regard, still ... it's more the fascination and expression Blue has now when speaking about it that awes him a bit. It's so full of this pure sort of sincerity that he barely knows how to handle. ]
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[he straightens up, withdrawing from the photos to stand properly at Yzak's side.]
There are countless ways you could've been...or not been. Not just the way you look, but the way you perceived the world, the strengths or weaknesses you acquired... But you're the you you are right now. And it wasn't designed by a machine.
I like that. I'm lucky...I get to know the you who you are now, the one who was that child once.
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[ What did we just say about barely being able to know how to handle this.
Yzak opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times. And, no, this is too much, he ends up looking away and bringing a hand to his flushing face. He knows he's said this before, but it's less a question at this point and more just flustered stammering. ]
How the hell can you just say something like that!?
[ And so easily! The powerful honestly behind those words are overwhelming, so romantic. And, Yzak thinks, it's always Blue saying them - which leaves him where? Feeling the same way, because obviously he feels just as lucky, but a "haha me too" is so lame to give back in return. ]
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still, his hand lingers on Yzak's arm as he watches the poor man practically spout steam from his ears.]
...Because it is my belief. And...it feels important and worth saying.
But is it too much to say? You're already overwhelmed...
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belated nsfw?????? oop
o ....... o yea 🥒
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