[ Uuughsdghhs that motion makes his heart flutter, basically confirming his earlier thought about everything simply feeling like more, now. He always thought he could handle this whole ... having feelings, a relationship (what the fuck, this is what that is now, huh. wild) thing better and less stupid than he actually is. (but again, it's Yzak, overestimating himself happens often)
So he doesn't know what to say to that except to just repeat himself like a fool. ]
I'm ... pleased to hear that too.
[ At the very least, it's not bullshit because he still feels that same, elated way.
He leads Blue and steps into his bougie home. Large and bright with high walls, big windows with silky drapes, expensive wallpapering and tiling, fancy ass carpets, vases with flowers from the garden outside along the hallways. It's immaculately clean, too. It's got the works; cushy living room, spacious kitchen with a large table, multiple bathrooms and rooms (guest rooms and work rooms) even though only two people live here.
There are photos of said two people on the walls, too. Yzak is the splitting image of his mother, and thankfully there are no very embarrassing pictures up of him. The closest thing is probably a photo of them both when Yzak was an itty bitty boy, bratty looking (as always) but still laughing with her, but that's more cute than embarrassing. ]
[Yzak reacts in a fluttery way he himself did when Finn and James poured on the affection...it informs Blue he's on the right track! he contentedly follows Yzak's lead into the house, completely unaware of bougie or what-have beyond any impressions Yzak himself may have about it.
focus immediately moves to those photos - those glimpses of childhood and family that Blue lacks for himself. it's like a moth to a flame, and Yzak's pulled along if he doesn't resist.]
You look...so much alike... [that wonder-filled smile is turned to Yzak.] Is that how it works? Naturally?
[ The only impressions Yzak has about his place that Blue can pick up on most are this weird sense of excitement of having him? His p a r t n e r in his home? Even though it's a dream home? (thank God it's not reality though, imagine if his mother was here, after trying to push wives on him). The other thought is an assurance to himself, that his place is nice, SO nice! The fanciest! He's got that money! So Blue should enjoy it just fine!! He wants to be impressive! ]
Not all the time. [ He hears that comment a lot, that he looks just like his mother. So he's used to it by now, rather than feeling weird about it. ] It varies.
First-generation Coordinators could have their eye color, hair color and other traits pre-set. But second-generations like myself were born naturally without that.
[he smiles back at the photo, his tone full of affection.] Nature's whims...hand in hand with your parents...brought you here.
[it makes his heart ache in a bittersweet way. were natural birth still allowed, he...would never have been born, would he?
it goes deeper than that, but it's beyond his understanding. he doesn't know that his mutation wasn't spontaneous - that it was actually an experiment set in place by the very system that deemed him a threat and has organized humanity to despise him and his like.]
[ More of a thought that just spills out of his mouth. Yzak knows things aren't quite the same in Blue's world in this regard, still ... it's more the fascination and expression Blue has now when speaking about it that awes him a bit. It's so full of this pure sort of sincerity that he barely knows how to handle. ]
[he straightens up, withdrawing from the photos to stand properly at Yzak's side.]
There are countless ways you could've been...or not been. Not just the way you look, but the way you perceived the world, the strengths or weaknesses you acquired... But you're the you you are right now. And it wasn't designed by a machine.
I like that. I'm lucky...I get to know the you who you are now, the one who was that child once.
[ What did we just say about barely being able to know how to handle this.
Yzak opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times. And, no, this is too much, he ends up looking away and bringing a hand to his flushing face. He knows he's said this before, but it's less a question at this point and more just flustered stammering. ]
How the hell can you just say something like that!?
[ And so easily! The powerful honestly behind those words are overwhelming, so romantic. And, Yzak thinks, it's always Blue saying them - which leaves him where? Feeling the same way, because obviously he feels just as lucky, but a "haha me too" is so lame to give back in return. ]
[Blue's hold on Yzak slacks a little in surprise to such an intense reaction. he frowns thoughtfully, wondering if he's been too overwhelming in his honesty - he is most at home in spaces more entirely emotional rather than physical, after all.
still, his hand lingers on Yzak's arm as he watches the poor man practically spout steam from his ears.]
...Because it is my belief. And...it feels important and worth saying.
But is it too much to say? You're already overwhelmed...
[ Overwhelming? Yes. Too much? Hell no. Blue will feel that it's clear as anything within Yzak that he would never want him to hesitate saying these kind of things - because it's likewise what makes him the Blue he is now. And that's exactly why Yzak likes him this much. He even likes the way these words overwhelm him once it passes - because it makes him feel alive in a way he's never felt up until now.
... at least the notions of these feelings kind of make up for his lack of ability to say something like them outloud with no problem. He's a little envious that Blue can speak to those deeper feelings so effortlessly. Meanwhile, this guy who thinks he's Yzak Cool is actually an Yzak Fool. ]
I-I know that! [ And yet hearing those are the ones for you all the same sends another warm feeling straight to his chest despite the stubborn blustering recovery he's trying to make. ]
And I told you before, that's what I want anyway! Since I can't glean those things from you like you can from me. [ He needs the extra hand there! And he wants Blue to bare those types of feelings ... and more than just them, to him. No matter what they do to him or how he reacts. ]
[ There've been a couple of times where he could tell through Blue's reaction, a small change in expression that he was happy hearing certain words from Yzak. That ... and he even told him those efforts were what made him happy. ]
... I'm also lucky.
[ He's trYinG. Even if to him, it's still a lame "me too" to what Blue said to him first. Yzak looks to Blue when he tilts his head downward, as if affirming what he just said. Because even if it is just an agreement ... it's true.
He pulls his held arm in just enough against his side to return that squeeze. ]
[Blue's eyes crinkle with affection, appreciative of the effort. it's not lame to him! Yzak is speaking how he knows to speak; whether that seems 'cool' to the man or not isn't really a concern for him.
affirming that gratitude comes by way of kissing his cheek again, gently bumping his temple to Yzak's.]
Let's stay here a while, then. Just the two of us.
[ Yzak is literally the only person who has any concern about how cool he is.
His own expression grows softer when he looks back into Blue's eyes, comforting and more than familiar by now to Yzak. As familiar as these walls around them, even if that part is just a dream.
He feels another featherlight tingle in his chest at that chaste kiss, eyes briefly shutting as he tilts his head back against Blue's. ]
Yeah.
You haven't even seen my room yet.
[ That has no other intention aside from noting it!!! )
[ It's probably for the best that they move because if Yzak notices that he's canoodling in front of a photo of his mother he's gonna start to feel weird.
Two large fancy doors around the corner lead into Yzak's room. Much like the rest of the house, it's adorned with a nice big window for the view out into space and a couple of fancy throw rugs. Yzak's room here has some reflections of his room on the Ximilia, as he's a person of familiarity. Books on folklore, engineering, chess and other things are on the bookshelf. There's a violin case sitting atop a dresser, random amulets and funky looking items on some other shelves. Things Yzak's opted to grab back on the station to either pass time or make it feel a little more homey. His bed is bigger and bougier than the station, too, soft and comfy as hell with more pillows than one person needs. (he likes pillows ok, and has a few more than he needs on the Ximilia too) There's also a desk with a computer for important government man work, and a table set up specifically for chess, a full set sitting on top of it. And finally displayed on a dresser is a photo of some young dorks. ]
[Blue looks around the room with a quiet curiosity, not straying far from Yzak even though he does leave his side. just a few steps, turning slowly and partway back to him.]
For this reason or that... [he smiles.] It suits you.
[a beat.
he'll echo whatever Of course it does! that might follow, a chuckle in his voice.]
[ Yzak circles him when he steps away to look around, following Blue's gaze to see what he peeks at, if he wants to inspect, ask about or touch anything - more than fine with him getting comfortable and doing what he pleases! Yzak's dream casa is Blue's dream casa.
There's a calmness in his expression when he watches him, enjoying Blue's curiosity, as well as that little smile when he turns back to him.
Of course that will turn into a fussy little scowl when he answers. ]
[Blue dips his head while his laugh peters out, lifting it back up to beam at him, radiating affection.]
It's because...I'm just stating the obvious, right? But sometimes that's all there is to say. [he tilts his head.] I'm not endlessly full of surprising revelations, after all.
[ He's been surprised quite a bit. Yzak shifts his weight, putting his hands on his hips and looking down at himself, muttering. ]
Am I really that predictable...?
[ It's empty fussing just for the sake of it. Because even outside of Blue, experience with others have proven that yes, he actually is that predictable. In this case specifically, though, Yzak's actually ... kind of charmed by the tease. And when he looks back up to Blue and sees that smile directed at him, it only serves to amplify that feeling. ]
[Blue considers that wavelength of thought for a beat.]
That, or... I'm just getting to understand you better. [the mirth wanes to leave a more serene, mild kind of expression.] Both, most likely; there's very few absolutes in the world.
[ Understand him better? Blue's psionics already let him look right into his heart, it barely feels like there's any more to know!
But, he thinks as he steps closer to Blue, he gets what he means. It's like coming to understand an opponent's play style in chess, where you're able to tell what their next move will most likely be before you make your own. That sort of intuition is different than psionics. ]
If that's the case, I guess it's good that there aren't any surprising revelations you're finding in here.
[ It makes that connection between them feel even tighter. When Yzak steps closer to him, he can't help but note how ... beautiful? Does that word even properly describe it? The way the soft glow of the Earth from the window behind Blue illuminates him, making him appear almost ethereal. It's entrancing. ]
[the atmosphere warms a little with Yzak's approach - an outward conveyance of the ever-present delight in their connection, an unconscious promise of reward for proximity. Yzak's observation only makes Blue that much more radiant, accepting the alterations of the dreamscape without hesitation. being haloed in light doesn't distort who he truly is, because he still truly is himself here no matter what.
on the other hand, being approached with such an expression is alluring in its own way; it's hard to feel appealing, to feel beautiful in ones own dying skin, but even outside of reverie Yzak seems blind to disgust when it comes to him. being loved, being cared for...Blue understands it. yet being desired so exclusively is still quite the novelty. he likes it.]
I'm here because of what is already known and shared. Because I want what you want. [he lifts his arms, beckoning.] It's not a surprising revelation anymore, is it...?
[ It's true that the radiance doesn't distort, but rather enhances what he already knows, what he already sees in Blue. Something unchanging, whether it's here in a dream where he's healthier and stronger, or in waking where he's ... not; it's simply him, who he is, that draws Yzak to those beckoning arms.
No, that's not a surprising revelation anymore. The thought is loud and clear in response to the question. Yet, sometimes it still feels that way to him, new and exciting and nearly unbelievable ... does that ever go away? Would he even want it to? (no)
Yzak lifts one of his own arms, level with Blue's to take his hand and entwine their fingers while the other slips around his back, intent to claim that reward as he pulls Blue flush against him. The warmth of the atmosphere, the familiar comfort of these surroundings and of this person make it easier to relax into this. He tips his head, leaning in closer but not yet meeting Blue's lips, silently reaffirming the idea of staying here for a while, just them. ]
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So he doesn't know what to say to that except to just repeat himself like a fool. ]
I'm ... pleased to hear that too.
[ At the very least, it's not bullshit because he still feels that same, elated way.
He leads Blue and steps into his bougie home. Large and bright with high walls, big windows with silky drapes, expensive wallpapering and tiling, fancy ass carpets, vases with flowers from the garden outside along the hallways. It's immaculately clean, too. It's got the works; cushy living room, spacious kitchen with a large table, multiple bathrooms and rooms (guest rooms and work rooms) even though only two people live here.
There are photos of said two people on the walls, too. Yzak is the splitting image of his mother, and thankfully there are no very embarrassing pictures up of him. The closest thing is probably a photo of them both when Yzak was an itty bitty boy, bratty looking (as always) but still laughing with her, but that's more cute than embarrassing. ]
It's weird since it's a dream, but.
Make yourself at home.
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focus immediately moves to those photos - those glimpses of childhood and family that Blue lacks for himself. it's like a moth to a flame, and Yzak's pulled along if he doesn't resist.]
You look...so much alike... [that wonder-filled smile is turned to Yzak.] Is that how it works? Naturally?
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Not all the time. [ He hears that comment a lot, that he looks just like his mother. So he's used to it by now, rather than feeling weird about it. ] It varies.
First-generation Coordinators could have their eye color, hair color and other traits pre-set. But second-generations like myself were born naturally without that.
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[he smiles back at the photo, his tone full of affection.] Nature's whims...hand in hand with your parents...brought you here.
[it makes his heart ache in a bittersweet way. were natural birth still allowed, he...would never have been born, would he?
it goes deeper than that, but it's beyond his understanding. he doesn't know that his mutation wasn't spontaneous - that it was actually an experiment set in place by the very system that deemed him a threat and has organized humanity to despise him and his like.]
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[ More of a thought that just spills out of his mouth. Yzak knows things aren't quite the same in Blue's world in this regard, still ... it's more the fascination and expression Blue has now when speaking about it that awes him a bit. It's so full of this pure sort of sincerity that he barely knows how to handle. ]
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[he straightens up, withdrawing from the photos to stand properly at Yzak's side.]
There are countless ways you could've been...or not been. Not just the way you look, but the way you perceived the world, the strengths or weaknesses you acquired... But you're the you you are right now. And it wasn't designed by a machine.
I like that. I'm lucky...I get to know the you who you are now, the one who was that child once.
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[ What did we just say about barely being able to know how to handle this.
Yzak opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times. And, no, this is too much, he ends up looking away and bringing a hand to his flushing face. He knows he's said this before, but it's less a question at this point and more just flustered stammering. ]
How the hell can you just say something like that!?
[ And so easily! The powerful honestly behind those words are overwhelming, so romantic. And, Yzak thinks, it's always Blue saying them - which leaves him where? Feeling the same way, because obviously he feels just as lucky, but a "haha me too" is so lame to give back in return. ]
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still, his hand lingers on Yzak's arm as he watches the poor man practically spout steam from his ears.]
...Because it is my belief. And...it feels important and worth saying.
But is it too much to say? You're already overwhelmed...
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[ Overwhelming? Yes. Too much? Hell no. Blue will feel that it's clear as anything within Yzak that he would never want him to hesitate saying these kind of things - because it's likewise what makes him the Blue he is now. And that's exactly why Yzak likes him this much. He even likes the way these words overwhelm him once it passes - because it makes him feel alive in a way he's never felt up until now.
... at least the notions of these feelings kind of make up for his lack of ability to say something like them outloud with no problem. He's a little envious that Blue can speak to those deeper feelings so effortlessly. Meanwhile, this guy who thinks he's Yzak Cool is actually an Yzak Fool. ]
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I'm simply used...to baring those kinds of feelings so openly. As a Mu. It's the kind of thing others could glean from me naturally by connecting.
[...]
...Not those specific thoughts and feelings. Those are the ones for you.
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And I told you before, that's what I want anyway! Since I can't glean those things from you like you can from me. [ He needs the extra hand there! And he wants Blue to bare those types of feelings ... and more than just them, to him. No matter what they do to him or how he reacts. ]
So ... nothing's too much to say.
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Even though I can sense it... [he tilts his head down slightly, a shade coy.] I do like to hear it. The effort matters.
[nothing more affirming than someone going out of their way to impress their intentions!]
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[ There've been a couple of times where he could tell through Blue's reaction, a small change in expression that he was happy hearing certain words from Yzak. That ... and he even told him those efforts were what made him happy. ]
... I'm also lucky.
[ He's trYinG. Even if to him, it's still a lame "me too" to what Blue said to him first. Yzak looks to Blue when he tilts his head downward, as if affirming what he just said. Because even if it is just an agreement ... it's true.
He pulls his held arm in just enough against his side to return that squeeze. ]
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affirming that gratitude comes by way of kissing his cheek again, gently bumping his temple to Yzak's.]
Let's stay here a while, then. Just the two of us.
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His own expression grows softer when he looks back into Blue's eyes, comforting and more than familiar by now to Yzak. As familiar as these walls around them, even if that part is just a dream.
He feels another featherlight tingle in his chest at that chaste kiss, eyes briefly shutting as he tilts his head back against Blue's. ]
Yeah.
You haven't even seen my room yet.
[ That has no other intention aside from noting it!!! )
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either way, he'll properly relink their arms and straighten back up with a gentle nod.]
That's right. Show me?
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Sure.
[ It's probably for the best that they move because if Yzak notices that he's canoodling in front of a photo of his mother he's gonna start to feel weird.
Two large fancy doors around the corner lead into Yzak's room. Much like the rest of the house, it's adorned with a nice big window for the view out into space and a couple of fancy throw rugs. Yzak's room here has some reflections of his room on the Ximilia, as he's a person of familiarity. Books on folklore, engineering, chess and other things are on the bookshelf. There's a violin case sitting atop a dresser, random amulets and funky looking items on some other shelves. Things Yzak's opted to grab back on the station to either pass time or make it feel a little more homey. His bed is bigger and bougier than the station, too, soft and comfy as hell with more pillows than one person needs. (he likes pillows ok, and has a few more than he needs on the Ximilia too) There's also a desk with a computer for important government man work, and a table set up specifically for chess, a full set sitting on top of it. And finally displayed on a dresser is a photo of some young dorks. ]
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For this reason or that... [he smiles.] It suits you.
[a beat.
he'll echo whatever Of course it does! that might follow, a chuckle in his voice.]
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There's a calmness in his expression when he watches him, enjoying Blue's curiosity, as well as that little smile when he turns back to him.
Of course that will turn into a fussy little scowl when he answers. ]
Of course it— HEY!
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It's because...I'm just stating the obvious, right? But sometimes that's all there is to say. [he tilts his head.] I'm not endlessly full of surprising revelations, after all.
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But you've got your fair share of them.
[ He's been surprised quite a bit. Yzak shifts his weight, putting his hands on his hips and looking down at himself, muttering. ]
Am I really that predictable...?
[ It's empty fussing just for the sake of it. Because even outside of Blue, experience with others have proven that yes, he actually is that predictable. In this case specifically, though, Yzak's actually ... kind of charmed by the tease. And when he looks back up to Blue and sees that smile directed at him, it only serves to amplify that feeling. ]
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That, or... I'm just getting to understand you better. [the mirth wanes to leave a more serene, mild kind of expression.] Both, most likely; there's very few absolutes in the world.
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But, he thinks as he steps closer to Blue, he gets what he means. It's like coming to understand an opponent's play style in chess, where you're able to tell what their next move will most likely be before you make your own. That sort of intuition is different than psionics. ]
If that's the case, I guess it's good that there aren't any surprising revelations you're finding in here.
[ It makes that connection between them feel even tighter. When Yzak steps closer to him, he can't help but note how ... beautiful? Does that word even properly describe it? The way the soft glow of the Earth from the window behind Blue illuminates him, making him appear almost ethereal. It's entrancing. ]
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on the other hand, being approached with such an expression is alluring in its own way; it's hard to feel appealing, to feel beautiful in ones own dying skin, but even outside of reverie Yzak seems blind to disgust when it comes to him. being loved, being cared for...Blue understands it. yet being desired so exclusively is still quite the novelty. he likes it.]
I'm here because of what is already known and shared. Because I want what you want. [he lifts his arms, beckoning.] It's not a surprising revelation anymore, is it...?
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No, that's not a surprising revelation anymore. The thought is loud and clear in response to the question. Yet, sometimes it still feels that way to him, new and exciting and nearly unbelievable ... does that ever go away? Would he even want it to? (no)
Yzak lifts one of his own arms, level with Blue's to take his hand and entwine their fingers while the other slips around his back, intent to claim that reward as he pulls Blue flush against him. The warmth of the atmosphere, the familiar comfort of these surroundings and of this person make it easier to relax into this. He tips his head, leaning in closer but not yet meeting Blue's lips, silently reaffirming the idea of staying here for a while, just them. ]
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belated nsfw?????? oop
o ....... o yea 🥒
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