Because you've always been around the others, right? On the Shangri-la. Within proximity to always hear them. [ Always in hiding, unable to be truly alone in a sense, on that ship, close enough to at least pick up psionically on the others. That's what Yzak wonders at least. Were things different for Blue and his fellow Mu, having the freedom to live, to settle, to scatter, the occasional quiet from distance might have been possible in a way where this change might not be so difficult to deal with.
... but that was never the case for him, huh. And thus. ]
[after another small sip:] I don't...entirely remember. I know it was unpleasant, but then...we're in a land where everyone's minds are in some layer of distress. That much...seems inevitable.
[he looks over.]
It's gotten to you in its ways, hasn't it? That atmosphere.
Of course it has. I wouldn't consider it close to an idea of what "hell" would actually be like ... but it's bad enough in its own right!
Everyone seems pretty dragged down, being here. But considering we were only allowed a couple of week's worth of rest after Badrock ... I'm not surprised. I am used to the nonstop, which might give me a slight edge. But that might not be the case for the others.
[ Fingers curled into and around the handle of the cup, his free hand rests on the bed so Yzak can lean back some and return the look. ]
Of course, I'm not able to feel those things like you're able to.
I will manage. [he must. but more than that:] There was once a time...when I never had this sense of the world. I don't remember it anymore, but there was a time before this power was awake in me. So I certainly fared well without it.
There is little I can do to keep from getting caught unawares in sleep, however. I know you don't need to hear it, but...I am sorry. For frightening you.
Hmph, frightened? Slightly surprised at most! And I've woken up to much worse than an unpleasant dream. [ He takes another small drink from his own cup, eyes still on Blue. ] It's fine. If anything I'm glad it was just that.
...
Not that it's great, obviously! But, sitting here having tea isn't a terrible situation to end up in, is it?
[with a faint smile on his lips:] No, it isn't. Just don't...lose too much rest on my account; no matter how strong you are, you won't do yourself any favors...in cutting corners for my sake.
I'd cut more than just corners for your sake...! [ He'll cut mfing people. He has. ] But I get what you mean. I'll get my rest in just fine, so don't concern yourself about that!
[ He looks thoughtful for a long moment after he says that, before asking, simply curious now. ]
Was it at least good? The tea you had on your ship.
[Yzak's assertion only makes Blue smile all the more. even without being able to read the intentions behind it, the Mu can tell more or less the meat of it.
the smile wanes to something gentler, more thoughtful, as his eyes cast down upon the remains of his cup.]
...I think so. It's been a while...since I last had it. Fifteen years...
I remember the taste of synthetic whisky more. It's sharper. My friend, Harley...it was his go-to. Now and then, we'd share some together.
Well ... that's reassuring to hear at least. Shitty tea is the worst! But that can be any tea if it's not prepared properly, and they're all unique in that sense!
[ He's taking his own time sipping at his, allowing himself to indulge and enjoy, relax a bit so he can eventually get back to sleep. But truth be told, he's far more interested in Blue. ]
Harley...? That's a name I don't think you've mentioned, before.
William Harley... [Blue's expression grows more reflective in its fondness.] He's the only one of us who...remembers his name. From Ganymede.
He came to the laboratory a few years older than the rest of us. He'd already had his examination; his powers...they didn't manifest until later, it seems. So he's always been something...of an elder figure, whether he wished to be or not.
He commands the Shangri-La. Helped commandeer it. He'd been at my side...the entire time. One of my most trusted friends.
[he pauses to have another sip.]
When my psionics return...when...we return to the station... I can show you. What I remember of him.
The only one, huh. [ An idle little mutter in response. Yzak listens to the rest of Blue's tender musing in earnest, unconsciously lowering the teacup in his hand until he's holding it down on his lap. Comrades, friends one can rely on and trust... he looks down to the still-slightly-steaming tea. ]
Those are the best sort of people to have around.
[ He's not being specific, where Blue would pick up on any particular one person if he could right now. But there's the look of a nostalgic familiarity in Yzak's expression when he says that, and a similar fondness of his voice. Dearka, Athrun ... those he's met here... Blue himself...
And regarding that offer... ]
... I'd like that. Not just about him, of course! But since we're talking about him right now, I'm obviously interested.
You can know all you wish. [he looks back over.] I don't mind sharing it at all.
[because it's Yzak: he knows he'd accept whatever it is without disdain for him or the Mu Blue loves. and giving that much of his past to him...is something like keeping a little more of himself alive here, in a way.]
[ Still, there's an unexpected little flitter in his heart when Blue says that, you can know all you wish. Not that he hasn't been forthcoming about things when Yzak gets nosy curious, but ... hearing it like this feels like an offer of some sort of full on soul-bearing shit. And that just feels like a lot to someone like Yzak, who at this point, is absolutely enamored with Blue. ]
You said synthetic whiskey? How strong is something like that?
...Mn. Right. Alcohol...alters people's states of mind. [he shakes his head.] The drinks we had on Shangri-La don't do that. [a beat. thoughtfully:] I haven't...tried anything that wasn't synthetic. Of that type, actually...
[ At that, he brings his cup back up to take a longer drink from it. ]
It's just as well, I guess. That stuff does alter your state of mind, so even I don't bother with it much. At least, never enough if I know I might need to be at full attention at a moment's notice!
[ Giving Blue a once over. ] And I'd imagine it wouldn't take very much to affect you. [ Lightweight would be an understatement. ]
I... [ A pause. ] I don't know! I can have a couple of the stronger things just fine. Like the other day, when I ran into Newton. [ And honestly considering their conversation that evening, he wishes he could have gotten so fucked up to have forgotten some of that. ]
But as it stands, I'm usually too busy to allow myself to ever test the theory - not that I'm that interested in doing so, anyway. Even on the station, I'm never sure how long downtime is going to last, so I don't want to risk not being in the right shape to properly focus.
A fair warning would be nice. But ... sure, that sounds fine if the opportunity presents itself.
[ Yzak considers a couple of things in silence after that agreement (future plans!! almost sounds like a date!! what the hell! who gets excited about that even!!), not exactly wanting to drag the conversation down. But ... it's still a good idea to at least mention it.
So taking one more sip of his tea to finish it off, Yzak leans over to place the empty cup on the nightstand before scooting back a little to lean against the wall. ]
Just keep in mind, too much of that shit can mess with even the most iron-clad of stomachs. [ And, well, u know. Blue and keeping things down properly. The fact that his wilting little ass weighs like 3lbs also.
But beyond that warning, as if Yzak's in any position to tell Blue what to do. ]
Mn. [Blue doesn't seem to deflate; he didn't really make the offer with too much brightness and excitement in the first place! he's the one with the weak constitution, after all.] Maybe just...a small taste, then.
[he smirks faintly over at Yzak.] You finish the rest for me.
[ Leave the excitement to Yzak. Even if he's not showing it outwardly, any little reach out like that does it for him. Something normal and casual to look forward to, he was never aware it would feel so ... nice.
So much so, that as if by a chain reaction, his own lips can't help but quirk up slightly. ]
I can do that easily...!
[ He smooths a hand over his own (soft, pink) nightwear, tilting his head back against the wall. ]
But as always, I'll trust your best judgment for your limits for yourself.
It's generous of you...to not admonish me in advance. [though he imagines he can expect it, should he push himself a bit too much just for the sake of trying.]
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I'm still...not used to it. The quiet of my own mind.
[he blows on the drink before taking a small sip.]
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... but that was never the case for him, huh. And thus. ]
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And even...being outside of the ship...when I was searching for others, I could at least...sense the humans around me.
But as far as resting...complete silence is so strange.
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What was it? That you dreamt about.
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[he looks over.]
It's gotten to you in its ways, hasn't it? That atmosphere.
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Everyone seems pretty dragged down, being here. But considering we were only allowed a couple of week's worth of rest after Badrock ... I'm not surprised. I am used to the nonstop, which might give me a slight edge. But that might not be the case for the others.
[ Fingers curled into and around the handle of the cup, his free hand rests on the bed so Yzak can lean back some and return the look. ]
Of course, I'm not able to feel those things like you're able to.
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There is little I can do to keep from getting caught unawares in sleep, however. I know you don't need to hear it, but...I am sorry. For frightening you.
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...
Not that it's great, obviously! But, sitting here having tea isn't a terrible situation to end up in, is it?
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[ He looks thoughtful for a long moment after he says that, before asking, simply curious now. ]
Was it at least good? The tea you had on your ship.
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the smile wanes to something gentler, more thoughtful, as his eyes cast down upon the remains of his cup.]
...I think so. It's been a while...since I last had it. Fifteen years...
I remember the taste of synthetic whisky more. It's sharper. My friend, Harley...it was his go-to. Now and then, we'd share some together.
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[ He's taking his own time sipping at his, allowing himself to indulge and enjoy, relax a bit so he can eventually get back to sleep. But truth be told, he's far more interested in Blue. ]
Harley...? That's a name I don't think you've mentioned, before.
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He came to the laboratory a few years older than the rest of us. He'd already had his examination; his powers...they didn't manifest until later, it seems. So he's always been something...of an elder figure, whether he wished to be or not.
He commands the Shangri-La. Helped commandeer it. He'd been at my side...the entire time. One of my most trusted friends.
[he pauses to have another sip.]
When my psionics return...when...we return to the station... I can show you. What I remember of him.
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Those are the best sort of people to have around.
[ He's not being specific, where Blue would pick up on any particular one person if he could right now. But there's the look of a nostalgic familiarity in Yzak's expression when he says that, and a similar fondness of his voice. Dearka, Athrun ... those he's met here... Blue himself...
And regarding that offer... ]
... I'd like that. Not just about him, of course! But since we're talking about him right now, I'm obviously interested.
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[because it's Yzak: he knows he'd accept whatever it is without disdain for him or the Mu Blue loves. and giving that much of his past to him...is something like keeping a little more of himself alive here, in a way.]
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[ Still, there's an unexpected little flitter in his heart when Blue says that, you can know all you wish. Not that he hasn't been forthcoming about things when Yzak gets
nosycurious, but ... hearing it like this feels like an offer of some sort of full on soul-bearing shit. And that just feels like a lot to someone like Yzak, who at this point, is absolutely enamored with Blue. ]You said synthetic whiskey? How strong is something like that?
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...Mn. Right. Alcohol...alters people's states of mind. [he shakes his head.] The drinks we had on Shangri-La don't do that. [a beat. thoughtfully:] I haven't...tried anything that wasn't synthetic. Of that type, actually...
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[ At that, he brings his cup back up to take a longer drink from it. ]
It's just as well, I guess. That stuff does alter your state of mind, so even I don't bother with it much. At least, never enough if I know I might need to be at full attention at a moment's notice!
[ Giving Blue a once over. ] And I'd imagine it wouldn't take very much to affect you. [ Lightweight would be an understatement. ]
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(by Coordinator standards, probably, actually) ]
I... [ A pause. ] I don't know! I can have a couple of the stronger things just fine. Like the other day, when I ran into Newton. [ And honestly considering their conversation that evening, he wishes he could have gotten so fucked up to have forgotten some of that. ]
But as it stands, I'm usually too busy to allow myself to ever test the theory - not that I'm that interested in doing so, anyway. Even on the station, I'm never sure how long downtime is going to last, so I don't want to risk not being in the right shape to properly focus.
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Perhaps...we'll get fairer warning. Next time. And you and I can share a drink like that.
I think it'd be nice...at least once. Just to try. [even if it's a bad taste, at least Blue could say he tried.]
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[ Yzak considers a couple of things in silence after that agreement (future plans!! almost sounds like a date!! what the hell! who gets excited about that even!!), not exactly wanting to drag the conversation down. But ... it's still a good idea to at least mention it.
So taking one more sip of his tea to finish it off, Yzak leans over to place the empty cup on the nightstand before scooting back a little to lean against the wall. ]
Just keep in mind, too much of that shit can mess with even the most iron-clad of stomachs. [ And, well, u know. Blue and keeping things down properly. The fact that his wilting little ass weighs like 3lbs also.
But beyond that warning, as if Yzak's in any position to tell Blue what to do. ]
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[he smirks faintly over at Yzak.] You finish the rest for me.
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So much so, that as if by a chain reaction, his own lips can't help but quirk up slightly. ]
I can do that easily...!
[ He smooths a hand over his own (soft, pink) nightwear, tilting his head back against the wall. ]
But as always, I'll trust your best judgment for your limits for yourself.
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