Yes. Brought upon by those around him...the way they make him feel. [and in keeping so close to Physis, those melodies are pensive and beautiful and hopeful in their trepidation - same as she, same as her visions.]
[ So Blue, too, he thinks, trying to see if he can make out any parts of the music that feel like Blue to him.
(yes he's kind of looking at this like a challenge to see if he can even though he is comfy and enjoying this. the little added challenge somehow makes it more comfy for him) ]
[the mulling of Yzak's mind...it tickles Blue, brings a contented smile to his face - one that's pierced by a pained, sudden wince when it just...cuts out after some time. he shudders, exhaling as the silence hits, and he tucks his chin down.
it's startling every time, but at least here, the silence is softened by the security of Yzak's closeness; he's still awake, still present.]
[ The sudden silence cutting in to what has become a soothing sound in his mind causes Yzak's own eyes to widen, as if he's just been dunked into ice-cold waters. He tenses as well when he feels Blue quiver against him, suddenly feeling a little less soothed and a little more awake, now. ]
...
Guess we're going to have to wait a bit to continue. [ A wry remark, but at least it promises a continuation. He pulls his head back, arms still tight around him. ] I could absolutely emulate the tune if I wanted to. [ A tiny brag of his big brain. ] But, I'll probably need a little more listening than that to get a solid feel for it and make sure it sounds perfectly right.
[ At the subdued tone of Blue's voice, he unwinds one arm to rest a hand on his face. ]
I can do that anytime you'd like. [ Especially— ahem. ] Especially now. As I said, I'd never say no to more opportunities to keep my skill up! But, more importantly, if it's something you'd like, then I'd ... always be more than happy to oblige.
[ That gets a small quirk of a smile out of Yzak. Blue has a point ... with his psionics temporarily out, having him physically there to ground him is what he needs most. As nice as music might feel to hear just as much.
Far be from him to deny Blue what he wants, though. So he stays, sinking more comfortably against the softness of the pillows and the mattress and against him, close as he needs, the ghost of the music still lingering in his mind.
He could get used to this.
(he wants to stay used to this) ]
[ It'll take a number of more listens for Yzak to get it down pat, and life on the station ensure that it'll take a couple of days and sessions at least.
Right now, though, Yzak's decided to pull out his violin and give it a bit of a test run - the combined charm of theirs' from Akani still dangling off the end of it, bringing with it warm, fond memories of that time. Blue's gentle calming her, the way she lit up when they danced.
Blue truly does make those he meets light up, the thought comes to Yzak as he peeks up at Blue from under his bangs as he makes sure the strings are set, kneeling on the floor as he makes sure everything is good to go. ]
[Blue's sat up for this, antsy enough as it is to be so idle, but having a new fascination goes a long way. as much as Blue might light other things up, he himself does so for this; he loved to hear the violin sing back in Sedorum, back when he could dance...he's happy to hear it again.
Yzak has himself the most attentive audience - and one quite biased in his favor, to boot.]
[ His favorite kind of audience, one that adores him and gives him their full attention.
(this audience being cute as fuck is a perk, also) ]
Feels ready to go. [ He mutters after a moment, and then moves to take a seat next to Blue. ]
Let's do a couple of practice runs, first, together. I'll play along with the memory. [ He rests the violin on his collarbone, tipping his chin down on the rest and wiggling it a couple of times to get comfortable. ]
[once Yzak's sat, Blue scoots a little so he can reach and rest a hand on his thigh - a little contact both to share the melody and...y'know. he' just likes touching him, what can you do.
he closes his eyes so he can better focus inwardly (kinda tough when you tap into the livewire of Yzak's brain) and pull Alfred's music back to the forefront of his mind.]
[ Wow what a coincidence, he likes being touched ... by Blue, specifically and only.
Sure enough, his mind's going like it always is, but at least most of its focus is on the task at hand. Once he feels that hand on his leg, he begins just before the first note of the song makes its way into his mind, having memorized it by now. Now it's a matter of perfecting it, making sure not only every note is right, but every emotion behind it as well, as closely as possible that Yzak can do without having met Alfred of Physis outside of Blue's memory of them.
Yzak's always thought the violin sounded the nicest, but when he plays that notion not only comes through, but the instrument suits him in other ways. The chords are sharp, striking but beautiful, powerful or soft when they need to be, and unique in its sound. His own experiences, not just through life but through music (Lacus Clyne and her voice, Nicol and his piano...) also reflect in the way he plays. And (un?)fortunately(?), he and Blue share many of the feelings that he can bring out from the original; the beauty and hopefulness that he knows of and feels himself, the pensiveness because speaking through music in times can inspire or calm those around you... ]
This part here, [ He notes, voice low, as the music hits a small crescendo. ] feels like it had you in mind. [ Was Blue fresh in Alfred's mind when this bit of the melody was born? It sounds that way to him. ]
[Blue relishes the way the melody translated this way gives him goosepimples, the little thrill of experiencing the translation of a piece of his past in the present, reinterpreted in this way. it makes his heart ache in a bittersweet way that he cherishes, makes his throat tighten a bit of the knot that inevitably comes with recalling those he misses so much.
he wishes they could be here.
at those words, Blue's eyes lift out of their trancelike stare, his hand reflexively twitching a bit where it rests. slowly, he smiles.]
...It feels like you, now. [because of the interpretation.]
Hopefully not too much. I am trying to stay as true to the original as possible. Since it's for you.
[ And if Blue can never hear the real thing again from the original source, he wants to do his best for him.
As he plays more, some idle thoughts pass through his mind; these notes that remind Yzak so much of Blue, though noticeable, are still unique to Alfred and his own feelings through the music. It's a bit of a wordless way to express oneself outside of physicality, not like the way Blue feels through his psionics he's sure, but perhaps something similar enough. While some notes remind Yzak of Blue and to him clearly are, they're not the exact ones he'd use himself. What would his feelings for Blue manifest as through his violin? What sort of music would he invoke in others? If Nicol were still alive and sat at his piano, what melody would he create for him? He wonders that as he's idly wondered about what his mind feels like to Blue, another way to better understand the things and feelings inside someone's heart. ]
How is that? [ He asks after what he hopes is a suitable, final practice. ] If it doesn't need any additional adjustments, we can get to recording it.
[Yzak may be striving for perfection in imitation here, but Blue sure isn't. he's grateful for the effort, of course, but he enjoys the adaptations and efforts Yzak makes separate from Alfred's freeform.
all this to say: he looks very content throughout the process.]
I think it's beautiful, Yzak. I would love...to have this recorded. So I can share.
[not elle already blitzing links to the ost song to various inboxes ALREADY]
[ It's funny because if he were being called beautiful he'd probably start to flush and get awkward (trye as it is!), but as it's his one of many many MAAAAAANY talents getting the compliment, he looks proud. Proud but in a specifically special way because it comes from Blue, and it comes from Blue about something that means this great a deal to him.
So he puffs up a bit to ready himself, since this is THE ONE. The important one!! ]
Then, I'll make sure I get this one perfectly right.
[ Spoken like a vow, before he makes sure his chin is set comfy, his focus is on the music since he won't be getting Blue's memory to lead him along, he's gotten it memorized by now ... and then he plays.
And much like the last few practice runs, the echos of the original are there as best as Yzak can mimic them. Of course some of his own feelings come through as well, happy to be able to do this for Blue, getting to see him smile, giving him something special that he hopes he'll cherish. ]
[Blue is on his best behavior - best that he can be when so moved and smitten by what's being done for him. but Yzak's recording it, right? so he has to be quiet and still, not disrupt the melody.
only when the bow leaves the strings and Yzak signals an end does Blue lift his head and move to lean in, hugging him around the waist and nuzzling his cheek before kissing it.]
Thank you. Thank you, Yzak. For bringing something like this...back out of my memories.
[ He brings the violin and the bow down to rest on the bed at his opposite side that Blue's on just as he feels those arms wrap around him. Yzak sits back up so those lips can properly meet his face, and he turns it to look back at Blue when he pulls his head back, still close enough to properly see the appreciation in his eyes. It causes a gentle brush of pink to bloom at the ends of his ears, his own expression entranced in its own way, to be looked at like this. ]
It's the least I can do, since you shared it with me to begin with.
[ ... ]
More than that, too, obviously. [ Much, much more. Even these last couple of days settling in to a slightly-more-than-the-already-constant presence of Blue like this have been no less exciting than the first moment.
And now that it's done, the recording is being quickly transferred to him. ]
[ That draws a calm, fond huff out of him as he returns the kiss. With it comes a wave of nostalgia, warm, painful in ways, grateful... ]
I get it. The importance of something like this. Not long before my arrival here, Athrun obtained the same thing; a recording of one of Nicol's pieces that his parents had.
[ You know what, sure, Yzak or Dearka would have hit Athrun up a couple of days later asking (in Yzak's case, demanding) him to send them said recording. Since that bastard doesn't live close to them anymore. ]
Ah, yeah, actually.
[ He regrabs his violin to properly place it in the case on the floor so he's not leaning over it when he grabs his phone from the bedside table. ]
Of course Athrun originally forgot to send us a copy like he always does - as if we're not busy, too, but we remember when we promise to do things like that! So we had to remind him since that idiot is so absentminded, sometimes. [ A little harrumph - but it's tinged with that loneliness that he always feels back home with Athrun living so far away now. And that he's no longer here on the station with them. ]
[once Yzak's gotten the instrument out of the way and is sitting back with his phone, Blue unwinds his arm from around him, himself sitting back to make room for Yzak to situate as he pleases.]
Yeah, yeah, I guess. [ Translation: Blue is correct and Yzak complaining about Athrun is just what he does and his way of making sure people know he is Important In Yzak's Life. He's just too tsundere to ever say something nice about him because of his horrific envious inferiority complex he has in his presence. That happens when you're a loser with an eternal rival who doesn't even want to be your eternal rival in turn.
He makes a couple of thoughtful humming noises, situating where he's still nice and close and leaning against Blue. (or more, letting Blue lean against him) There are a few taps back and forth between folders and places as he tries to find what he's looking for, and eventually he does.
A piano piece plays; beautiful, haunting but comforting. It comes from someone brimming with talent never fully realized, and someone kind. Extremely kind. Too kind to have been involved in a war but so many felt they had no choice but to fight.
Yzak's own feelings fluctuate when the music begins. Images of a memory of he and Dearka approaching (Yzak stomping toward) Athrun, standing at a grave in a seemingly neverending graveyard. A nostalgic comfort with the meeting there, as if it's something they've done many times before. Athrun noting that he visited Nicol's parents who gifted him with the old recording and playing it for them all. Dearka notes how nice it is, Athrun agrees, Yzak tells them to be quiet and listen. All of those memories and feelings come with a light cocoon of guilt wrapped around them. Guilt for what was because he was so awful back then, especially to Nicol. Regret for what never came to be because he'd died long before Yzak started to get his act together. It's another scar he carries moving forward - one he doesn't try to atone for because he doesn't seek forgiveness since the only one who could grant it is gone - but rather with the hope that no more situations like the one they were in will be repeated. ]
[Blue leans against him as expected, resting his head against Yzak's, and gradually winds his arm through his, fingers sneaking their way to thread together with his. he closes his eyes as he listens, all the color and light coming from the emotions and memories next to him. his heart yearns and aches with Yzak's, not just out of empathy, but out of the resonance of feelings in himself brought on by familiar tones and shades. what's different is all that guilt, and it hurts Blue to feel.
he gently squeezes his hand - paltry consolation, but it is what he can freely give.]
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(yes he's kind of looking at this like a challenge to see if he can even though he is comfy and enjoying this. the little added challenge somehow makes it more comfy for him) ]
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it's startling every time, but at least here, the silence is softened by the security of Yzak's closeness; he's still awake, still present.]
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...
Guess we're going to have to wait a bit to continue. [ A wry remark, but at least it promises a continuation. He pulls his head back, arms still tight around him. ] I could absolutely emulate the tune if I wanted to. [ A tiny brag of his big brain. ] But, I'll probably need a little more listening than that to get a solid feel for it and make sure it sounds perfectly right.
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It's alright. [his speaking voice is quiet.] I don't mind. I just know...I'd like to hear you...play again.
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I can do that anytime you'd like. [ Especially— ahem. ] Especially now. As I said, I'd never say no to more opportunities to keep my skill up! But, more importantly, if it's something you'd like, then I'd ... always be more than happy to oblige.
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But if you did that now...you wouldn't be right here.
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Far be from him to deny Blue what he wants, though. So he stays, sinking more comfortably against the softness of the pillows and the mattress and against him, close as he needs, the ghost of the music still lingering in his mind.
He could get used to this.
(he wants to stay used to this) ]
[ It'll take a number of more listens for Yzak to get it down pat, and life on the station ensure that it'll take a couple of days and sessions at least.
Right now, though, Yzak's decided to pull out his violin and give it a bit of a test run - the combined charm of theirs' from Akani still dangling off the end of it, bringing with it warm, fond memories of that time. Blue's gentle calming her, the way she lit up when they danced.
Blue truly does make those he meets light up, the thought comes to Yzak as he peeks up at Blue from under his bangs as he makes sure the strings are set, kneeling on the floor as he makes sure everything is good to go. ]
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Yzak has himself the most attentive audience - and one quite biased in his favor, to boot.]
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(this audience being cute as fuck is a perk, also) ]
Feels ready to go. [ He mutters after a moment, and then moves to take a seat next to Blue. ]
Let's do a couple of practice runs, first, together. I'll play along with the memory. [ He rests the violin on his collarbone, tipping his chin down on the rest and wiggling it a couple of times to get comfortable. ]
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he closes his eyes so he can better focus inwardly (kinda tough when you tap into the livewire of Yzak's brain) and pull Alfred's music back to the forefront of his mind.]
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Sure enough, his mind's going like it always is, but at least most of its focus is on the task at hand. Once he feels that hand on his leg, he begins just before the first note of the song makes its way into his mind, having memorized it by now. Now it's a matter of perfecting it, making sure not only every note is right, but every emotion behind it as well, as closely as possible that Yzak can do without having met Alfred of Physis outside of Blue's memory of them.
Yzak's always thought the violin sounded the nicest, but when he plays that notion not only comes through, but the instrument suits him in other ways. The chords are sharp, striking but beautiful, powerful or soft when they need to be, and unique in its sound. His own experiences, not just through life but through music (Lacus Clyne and her voice, Nicol and his piano...) also reflect in the way he plays. And (un?)fortunately(?), he and Blue share many of the feelings that he can bring out from the original; the beauty and hopefulness that he knows of and feels himself, the pensiveness because speaking through music in times can inspire or calm those around you... ]
This part here, [ He notes, voice low, as the music hits a small crescendo. ] feels like it had you in mind. [ Was Blue fresh in Alfred's mind when this bit of the melody was born? It sounds that way to him. ]
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he wishes they could be here.
at those words, Blue's eyes lift out of their trancelike stare, his hand reflexively twitching a bit where it rests. slowly, he smiles.]
...It feels like you, now. [because of the interpretation.]
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Hopefully not too much. I am trying to stay as true to the original as possible. Since it's for you.
[ And if Blue can never hear the real thing again from the original source, he wants to do his best for him.
As he plays more, some idle thoughts pass through his mind; these notes that remind Yzak so much of Blue, though noticeable, are still unique to Alfred and his own feelings through the music. It's a bit of a wordless way to express oneself outside of physicality, not like the way Blue feels through his psionics he's sure, but perhaps something similar enough. While some notes remind Yzak of Blue and to him clearly are, they're not the exact ones he'd use himself. What would his feelings for Blue manifest as through his violin? What sort of music would he invoke in others? If Nicol were still alive and sat at his piano, what melody would he create for him? He wonders that as he's idly wondered about what his mind feels like to Blue, another way to better understand the things and feelings inside someone's heart. ]
How is that? [ He asks after what he hopes is a suitable, final practice. ] If it doesn't need any additional adjustments, we can get to recording it.
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all this to say: he looks very content throughout the process.]
I think it's beautiful, Yzak. I would love...to have this recorded. So I can share.
[not elle already blitzing links to the ost song to various inboxes ALREADY]
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So he puffs up a bit to ready himself, since this is THE ONE. The important one!! ]
Then, I'll make sure I get this one perfectly right.
[ Spoken like a vow, before he makes sure his chin is set comfy, his focus is on the music since he won't be getting Blue's memory to lead him along, he's gotten it memorized by now ... and then he plays.
And much like the last few practice runs, the echos of the original are there as best as Yzak can mimic them. Of course some of his own feelings come through as well, happy to be able to do this for Blue, getting to see him smile, giving him something special that he hopes he'll cherish. ]
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only when the bow leaves the strings and Yzak signals an end does Blue lift his head and move to lean in, hugging him around the waist and nuzzling his cheek before kissing it.]
Thank you. Thank you, Yzak. For bringing something like this...back out of my memories.
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It's the least I can do, since you shared it with me to begin with.
[ ... ]
More than that, too, obviously. [ Much, much more. Even these last couple of days settling in to a slightly-more-than-the-already-constant presence of Blue like this have been no less exciting than the first moment.
And now that it's done, the recording is being quickly transferred to him. ]
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It means a lot to me. I'll remember this moment happily.
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I get it. The importance of something like this. Not long before my arrival here, Athrun obtained the same thing; a recording of one of Nicol's pieces that his parents had.
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Ah, yeah, actually.
[ He regrabs his violin to properly place it in the case on the floor so he's not leaning over it when he grabs his phone from the bedside table. ]
Of course Athrun originally forgot to send us a copy like he always does - as if we're not busy, too, but we remember when we promise to do things like that! So we had to remind him since that idiot is so absentminded, sometimes. [ A little harrumph - but it's tinged with that loneliness that he always feels back home with Athrun living so far away now. And that he's no longer here on the station with them. ]
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It's alright. It's still here, in the end.
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He makes a couple of thoughtful humming noises, situating where he's still nice and close and leaning against Blue. (or more, letting Blue lean against him) There are a few taps back and forth between folders and places as he tries to find what he's looking for, and eventually he does.
A piano piece plays; beautiful, haunting but comforting. It comes from someone brimming with talent never fully realized, and someone kind. Extremely kind. Too kind to have been involved in a war but so many felt they had no choice but to fight.
Yzak's own feelings fluctuate when the music begins. Images of a memory of he and Dearka approaching (Yzak stomping toward) Athrun, standing at a grave in a seemingly neverending graveyard. A nostalgic comfort with the meeting there, as if it's something they've done many times before. Athrun noting that he visited Nicol's parents who gifted him with the old recording and playing it for them all. Dearka notes how nice it is, Athrun agrees, Yzak tells them to be quiet and listen. All of those memories and feelings come with a light cocoon of guilt wrapped around them. Guilt for what was because he was so awful back then, especially to Nicol. Regret for what never came to be because he'd died long before Yzak started to get his act together. It's another scar he carries moving forward - one he doesn't try to atone for because he doesn't seek forgiveness since the only one who could grant it is gone - but rather with the hope that no more situations like the one they were in will be repeated. ]
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he gently squeezes his hand - paltry consolation, but it is what he can freely give.]
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