[it might be a secret kind of blessing, being exhausted of pain; it means he's not yet numb to suffering. it means there's still a capacity to fully embrace the goodness that exists despite the pain.
still...pain is pain, isn't it. Blue breathes out a sigh through his nose as he takes in these feelings and--
and shivers at the end of the exhale, tensing up in the telltale sign that he's lost it again. his psionics... like the flicking of a switch, the temperature, color, and sound of Yzak's mind vanishes, and Blue can only hang onto him the tighter to ensure he's still present and aware, all in the midst of hearing you have nothing to apologize for.]
I-I know... But still... As long as I can leave you with more happiness than sorrow...
[ He hears that word again, and he doesn't want to. Leave. ]
You don't have to worry yourself about that.
And, you haven't left yet.
[ And it's all the better Blue's psionics blip out at that moment, because he still thinks, he still hopes, he still wishes to challenge fate and punch it in its fucking face. Some way. Any way? And maybe wr can find a way ... you won't have to.
...
Nothing. ]
Mm-?
[ He turns his gaze down to Blue, feeling him shiver. ]
[and it's cold. but...Yzak is still warm. still present. so while it troubles him to his core to be suddenly so alone in his head, his outer senses are still enough to keep him rooted here.]
[ You know what would be cool? ONE NICE THING. ONE NICE DAY WITH NOTHING SHITTY OR SAD HAPPENING!! Blue's psionics going out now of all times just makes everything hurt even more.
...
Though, it's for sure all worse on Blue. Not just losing his abilities now, but dealing with his own feelings on top of all of Yzak's just moments ago. This isn't the time for him to wallow, even though he wishes he could actually push all of these painful thoughts clawing at his mind away. ]
Of all the fucking times...
[ He mutters, frustrated - but, you know, just frustrated at It Being A Thing At All.
He shifts though, because he's well aware of what Blue needs at a time like this by now, so he can wrap his arms around him. ]
... Sorry.
[ He almost said that in his mind out of reflex, but speaks it instead. ]
[because it's passed before. it's just a matter of waiting it out.
he seems to shrink a little in Yzak's arms, curling up closer for more points of contact, wrapping an arm around his waist and nuzzling his head under his chin.]
He almost says I'll always be here, because he has said he's only a earpiece call away if this happens. But ... maybe that's not a good thing to say right now, after everything. Because he's the only one who can say it. Salt in the wound.
Yzak dips his chin down, giving Blue all of the contact he needs in turn. The more he sits here holding him like this, the more he doesn't want to let him go.
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still...pain is pain, isn't it. Blue breathes out a sigh through his nose as he takes in these feelings and--
and shivers at the end of the exhale, tensing up in the telltale sign that he's lost it again. his psionics... like the flicking of a switch, the temperature, color, and sound of Yzak's mind vanishes, and Blue can only hang onto him the tighter to ensure he's still present and aware, all in the midst of hearing you have nothing to apologize for.]
I-I know... But still... As long as I can leave you with more happiness than sorrow...
no subject
You don't have to worry yourself about that.
And, you haven't left yet.
[ And it's all the better Blue's psionics blip out at that moment, because he still thinks, he still hopes, he still wishes to challenge fate and punch it in its fucking face. Some way. Any way? And maybe wr can find a way ... you won't have to.
...
Nothing. ]
Mm-?
[ He turns his gaze down to Blue, feeling him shiver. ]
... it happened again?
no subject
[and it's cold. but...Yzak is still warm. still present. so while it troubles him to his core to be suddenly so alone in his head, his outer senses are still enough to keep him rooted here.]
no subject
...
Though, it's for sure all worse on Blue. Not just losing his abilities now, but dealing with his own feelings on top of all of Yzak's just moments ago. This isn't the time for him to wallow, even though he wishes he could actually push all of these painful thoughts clawing at his mind away. ]
Of all the fucking times...
[ He mutters, frustrated - but, you know, just frustrated at It Being A Thing At All.
He shifts though, because he's well aware of what Blue needs at a time like this by now, so he can wrap his arms around him. ]
... Sorry.
[ He almost said that in his mind out of reflex, but speaks it instead. ]
no subject
[because it's passed before. it's just a matter of waiting it out.
he seems to shrink a little in Yzak's arms, curling up closer for more points of contact, wrapping an arm around his waist and nuzzling his head under his chin.]
I'm grateful. That you're here. If you weren't...
[it wouldn't be good at all. at all.]
no subject
[ As if he would do anything else.
He almost says I'll always be here, because he has said he's only a earpiece call away if this happens. But ... maybe that's not a good thing to say right now, after everything. Because he's the only one who can say it. Salt in the wound.
Yzak dips his chin down, giving Blue all of the contact he needs in turn. The more he sits here holding him like this, the more he doesn't want to let him go.
He doesn't want to let him go.
He doesn't want to let him go. ]