[ A sight enough that what Blue said earlier about him echoes in Yzak's mind; glowing, beautiful. Both feeling like understatements to describe the form before him.
Drawn in by those arms, he sits up completely between Blue's legs, feeling a twinge at his side when he twists slightly in a certain way. But ignoring it for what he'd rather feel instead, Yzak's careful as he crawls up and into those arms, one of his own bracing so he doesn't put his full weight down when he does. The chill of the night is going to set in again, they need to rebundle up for it, but right now he just wants to feel this for the tiniest bit longer. He dips his head down closer to stare at Blue. ]
How are you feeling?
[ A double sided question. The care in that thought, though, makes it clear that Yzak's priority is Blue himself rather than what they just did. ]
[Blue shifts, too, turning a bit on his side while winding arms around Yzak, pulling him close to him. it may seem as though he means to dodge that thoughtful stare, but really, he just wants hold him and be held, as though it would impress the tactile memory of the moment onto his body.]
Warm. Tired. Empty, but...not at all... [he puffs a little laugh in his exhale.] How do I even explain...
[ He lets Blue lead there to dictate position so he's most comfortable, seemingly weightless as he moves easily along with him. Like this Yzak's able to drape that arm around his thin body properly now, holding Blue back like he wishes to be and pressing close to him. ]
That wasn't too bad. [ That explanation. And he gets what he means, empty but not at all ... that particular kind of fullness is what he feels, too, still warm and next to him like this, reluctant to part and not even because of the cold. Yzak still feels a slight heat in his cheeks that only grows when Blue lets out that small, breathy laugh. ]
[Blue hums a little, nuzzling his face against Yzak's neck. even his thought comes as a sleepy mumble:] Maybe...just a little. But I think...that's how it has to be. To properly embrace...
[or maybe not. how would he know for certain? all he'd ever gleaned before were the emotional highs, not the physical ones.
while clutching Yzak a little tighter:] I know I'm grateful. To feel this... How am I to...dream of anything else?
[ Blue gets to feel him handle that in real time. The mix of concern and respect trying to settle somewhere fair. This was ... nice. No, this was great, and Yzak is glad they were able to explore some of those limits for Blue together without any issues. He knows he'd hate to have to stop if he were in Blue's position, because he hates leaving anything half-finished, understands some of the frustration - so he gets it. Respects it. Still. ]
Okay.
[ Though he gives a gentle little poke to Blue's back to emphasize when he continues. ] Just don't over-do it, then, or I'll kick your ass! Stopping, or just ... this. I'm fine with it. [ It's not as though he of all people can chastise anyone for pushing themselves a little.
Feeling Blue's steady breathing against his neck gets him to curl in a little closer. When he speaks of dreaming, Yzak feels both awkward but praised. ]
W-why do you think I had that dream before in the first place? [ This is exactly why. ]
I'm ... likewise glad in that case that it was ... good. For you. [ Because his easily bruisable little ego and lack of experience make him constantly assess and hope he's not absolutely terrible at this shit. ]
[ Blue will feel him pull in a slow, deep breath at that. This sort of vulnerability, a connection he's never had before ... Yzak feels those things, too. ]
In either case, [ regarding his own vulnerability that Yzak offers back, as well as with Blue's keeping proper tabs on his limits, ] I trust you. [ He has no reason not to. Look where they are now thanks to that, he thinks. Thanks the fact that Yzak finally... ]
...
And I guess it is natural. But I'm glad I didn't turn my back to it this time like I always did before. To ... this. This kind of connection. [ Because he's never had it before, either. Imagine having missed out on all of this, just because he was scared? Fear still lingers naturally, doubt still hangs. But ... everything, even this, can't be completely free of those things. ] Despite ... everything.
[Blue moves only to be able to kiss his neck, nuzzle it.]
Despite everything, yes. [after all, look where they are! hardly a dream. but still... maybe where they are is just as good a reason as any, and maybe connecting like this helps keep them from despairing alone.
he withdraws to let his head rest on the blanket and be able to look Yzak eye to eye, slipping one of his arms back from around him so he can caress his face.]
[ Hearing that pulls at his heart - as if it hasn't been pulled at, drawn in to Blue enough. It feels warm, heavy but in a good way as he gazes back into those eyes, feels that hand on his face, pulling it closer still. It's true that the situation makes this all the more important, gives them something to hold onto within all of the frustrating hopelessness this mission has caused around them. If that were the only case, though, it'd be so easy not to worry about any kind of attachment beyond that. But Yzak wouldn't be here like this in the first place if he wasn't attached already.
Because Blue, as he is, is why he's here.
Directly facing this kind of sincerity for too long is still so much, so flustering for Yzak, like staring at the sun. Though this time he manages a compromise to looking away, instead leaning in to lightly press a kiss to his lips in response to his words as if to emphasize them. ]
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no subject
Drawn in by those arms, he sits up completely between Blue's legs, feeling a twinge at his side when he twists slightly in a certain way. But ignoring it for what he'd rather feel instead, Yzak's careful as he crawls up and into those arms, one of his own bracing so he doesn't put his full weight down when he does. The chill of the night is going to set in again, they need to rebundle up for it, but right now he just wants to feel this for the tiniest bit longer. He dips his head down closer to stare at Blue. ]
How are you feeling?
[ A double sided question. The care in that thought, though, makes it clear that Yzak's priority is Blue himself rather than what they just did. ]
no subject
Warm. Tired. Empty, but...not at all... [he puffs a little laugh in his exhale.] How do I even explain...
no subject
That wasn't too bad. [ That explanation. And he gets what he means, empty but not at all ... that particular kind of fullness is what he feels, too, still warm and next to him like this, reluctant to part and not even because of the cold. Yzak still feels a slight heat in his cheeks that only grows when Blue lets out that small, breathy laugh. ]
I'm glad you didn't have to push it.
no subject
[or maybe not. how would he know for certain? all he'd ever gleaned before were the emotional highs, not the physical ones.
while clutching Yzak a little tighter:] I know I'm grateful. To feel this... How am I to...dream of anything else?
no subject
Okay.
[ Though he gives a gentle little poke to Blue's back to emphasize when he continues. ] Just don't over-do it, then, or I'll kick your ass! Stopping, or just ... this. I'm fine with it. [ It's not as though he of all people can chastise anyone for pushing themselves a little.
Feeling Blue's steady breathing against his neck gets him to curl in a little closer. When he speaks of dreaming, Yzak feels both awkward but praised. ]
W-why do you think I had that dream before in the first place? [ This is exactly why. ]
I'm ... likewise glad in that case that it was ... good. For you. [ Because his easily bruisable little ego and lack of experience make him constantly assess and hope he's not absolutely terrible at this shit. ]
no subject
I won't know the limit right away. Neither would you... [his head lifts a little, lips lingering on Yzak's shoulder.]
I'm not used to it. Feeling...vulnerable like this. Not in danger, but... Taking on a connection...I never had before.
Fear of the unknown...it's only natural, I suppose.
no subject
In either case, [ regarding his own vulnerability that Yzak offers back, as well as with Blue's keeping proper tabs on his limits, ] I trust you. [ He has no reason not to. Look where they are now thanks to that, he thinks. Thanks the fact that Yzak finally... ]
...
And I guess it is natural. But I'm glad I didn't turn my back to it this time like I always did before. To ... this. This kind of connection. [ Because he's never had it before, either. Imagine having missed out on all of this, just because he was scared? Fear still lingers naturally, doubt still hangs. But ... everything, even this, can't be completely free of those things. ] Despite ... everything.
no subject
Despite everything, yes. [after all, look where they are! hardly a dream. but still... maybe where they are is just as good a reason as any, and maybe connecting like this helps keep them from despairing alone.
he withdraws to let his head rest on the blanket and be able to look Yzak eye to eye, slipping one of his arms back from around him so he can caress his face.]
Thank you...for accepting me. Like this.
no subject
Because Blue, as he is, is why he's here.
Directly facing this kind of sincerity for too long is still so much, so flustering for Yzak, like staring at the sun. Though this time he manages a compromise to looking away, instead leaning in to lightly press a kiss to his lips in response to his words as if to emphasize them. ]