[ Ironic. He wishes he didn't have to think about the reason why he needs to do this because he still can't without it hurting. There is only hurt, though, no regret, with a sprinkle of anger both outward at fate and inward to himself because he can't not have the feelings that bubble up inside him. That this had to feel so pointless because he could not even obtain the temporary happiness he was okay settling for in return.
But he has to think about this, because he has to adjust, adapt, so he can continue being an asset to the team instead of a burden. And if he can at least accomplish what he came here for...
Well, he most likely won't remember to be proud of it any more than he won't remember this chasm that's opened up in his heart. And if he can reach that end sooner rather than later instead of letting his mind wander, think desperately of what he would give up to change the things that awaited him at the end of this journey and wonder if he's actually fucking crazy enough to offer them... ]
Marta.
[ The first text comes, and it's only a couple of moments before it's followed by: ]
I'm finishing dinner right now. I should be done by the time you get to my room.
[ there are hurts medicine will never be able to heal. grief, heartbreak, loneliness. variations of emptiness that can gnaw at a person from the inside out.
marta doesn't have to be around for yzak to go through his physical therapy. he's a soldier, after all; regimen and discipline are part of his daily life.
but her presence isn't for instruction and guidance, so much as it is to simply be. another body in an otherwise empty room. another distraction from the noises in an unkind mind. ]
Take your time. I don't mind waiting.
[ she'll be there, leaning against the wall beside his door. ]
[ Yzak doesn't like making people wait, so as promised, he keeps to his estimation and finishes up promptly. And when he slides open the door to his room (which shouldn't feel empty because he really didn't share it for long but that he did at all means he had to relocate half of the room decor and belongings into a box because keeping it out would drive him mad and as a soldier that's something he's used to already and should steel himself against because he's had to pack up boxes of belongings for killed soldiers back home plenty of times before and only in a couple of personal cases did he let himself break in the process of doing so but it never got easier and then this...) and peeks his head out, there stands Marta, patiently and ready.
Yzak gives her a polite nod, and then steps back into his room to allow her entrance. ]
You sure you're not busy with all of the bullshit that went down in that last mission?
[ she offers him a smile as she steps into his space, though she waits for him to decide where he would like to sit before approaching. ]
Most of the injured apparently do well enough healing on their own, [ comes her wry response, the twist to her lips suggesting she trusts their judgment — but begrudgingly. ]
[ He nods, as he moves to take a seat on the (very plush and soft, and also has a couple of pillows on it to boot) chair in his room. It's almost automatic by now; he's used to these check-ups, and he appreciates them. Luckily for Marta Yzak is a rather good patient, and being a Coordinator to boot means his overall recovery is going better than your standard human as is.
Though, he's not quite able to heal like those very allies she mentions. So when she does, he lets out a small scoff himself. ]
Even against such things like jumping into a fucking volcano. [ YEAH U KNOW WHO HE MEANS!!!!! ]
[ marta spares a brief moment to close her eyes and stifle the sigh that wants to come out. she is surrounded by too many people being far too cavalier about their physical well-being not to feel an automatic spike in her blood pressure from just the mere mention of it. yzak is, thankfully, not nearly as bad as others they know...
but that doesn't mean he isn't guilty of it either!! ]
You have to wonder if they've done it before. I'm too afraid to ask.
[ she takes up her position beside him, hands gentle as she smooths her hands over his shoulder, feeling the muscle there. by now these check-ups tend to go by without a hitch, so she doesn't even need to speak up to direct him through the various exercises. ]
[ He is absolutely innocent whatever do you mean Marta. ]
My bets would be on yes. [ He wouldn't be shocked, knowing what he knows about many of his allies now. He moves along with her as she looks him over, obeys anything she needs him to do or try, even though he's Yzak Jule so there's always a touch of his ego at play. As much as he knows he needs to recover and remain useful, he still hates being perceived in any way when he feels what can be considered weak. He can't help it, even if he does his best to ignore it and endure it. ]
[ it's why she insists on talking during these sessions, honestly. anything to make it seem like she's here for anything but the physical therapy. marta has dealt with enough ego in her time as a nurse; the last thing either of them need is one getting in the way. ]
Both. Of course I'm used to it, but I'm also not afraid to ask. You can't learn things if you don't ask questions and seek out answers, so being proactive in doing so is important if you intend to advance yourself.
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text | un: m.cabrera
Would you prefer to do your exercises in the infirmary or in your room?
no subject
But he has to think about this, because he has to adjust, adapt, so he can continue being an asset to the team instead of a burden. And if he can at least accomplish what he came here for...
Well, he most likely won't remember to be proud of it any more than he won't remember this chasm that's opened up in his heart. And if he can reach that end sooner rather than later instead of letting his mind wander, think desperately of what he would give up to change the things that awaited him at the end of this journey and wonder if he's actually fucking crazy enough to offer them... ]
Marta.
[ The first text comes, and it's only a couple of moments before it's followed by: ]
I'm finishing dinner right now. I should be done by the time you get to my room.
no subject
marta doesn't have to be around for yzak to go through his physical therapy. he's a soldier, after all; regimen and discipline are part of his daily life.
but her presence isn't for instruction and guidance, so much as it is to simply be. another body in an otherwise empty room. another distraction from the noises in an unkind mind. ]
Take your time. I don't mind waiting.
[ she'll be there, leaning against the wall beside his door. ]
no subject
Yzak gives her a polite nod, and then steps back into his room to allow her entrance. ]
You sure you're not busy with all of the bullshit that went down in that last mission?
no subject
Most of the injured apparently do well enough healing on their own, [ comes her wry response, the twist to her lips suggesting she trusts their judgment — but begrudgingly. ]
You're all I have today. There's no rush.
no subject
Though, he's not quite able to heal like those very allies she mentions. So when she does, he lets out a small scoff himself. ]
Even against such things like jumping into a fucking volcano. [ YEAH U KNOW WHO HE MEANS!!!!! ]
no subject
but that doesn't mean he isn't guilty of it either!! ]
You have to wonder if they've done it before. I'm too afraid to ask.
[ she takes up her position beside him, hands gentle as she smooths her hands over his shoulder, feeling the muscle there. by now these check-ups tend to go by without a hitch, so she doesn't even need to speak up to direct him through the various exercises. ]
no subject
My bets would be on yes. [ He wouldn't be shocked, knowing what he knows about many of his allies now. He moves along with her as she looks him over, obeys anything she needs him to do or try, even though he's Yzak Jule so there's always a touch of his ego at play. As much as he knows he needs to recover and remain useful, he still hates being perceived in any way when he feels what can be considered weak. He can't help it, even if he does his best to ignore it and endure it. ]
Though I'm not afraid to ask if I'm that curious.
no subject
Aren't you? Or are you too used to it?
no subject
no subject
How would knowing how often someone's jumped inside a volcano advance me...
no subject
But, I also wouldn't be shocked if somehow that knowledge would come in handy down the line, given the weird shit we've dealt with here already.